We’re providing leadership training for women within Denver Women’s Correctional Facility. Participants are respected individuals in the facility willing to serve as mentors for others. Our focus is on decision-making skills.
In a recent class session, the participants were intrigued by the distinction between reacting and deciding. We explored the destructive nature of reactionary cycles. The women nodded in recognition. One said, “I wish I had learned about this before I came to prison. I wouldn’t be here today.” Another commented, “This is what keeps us from achieving what we really want.”
We explored the steps for breaking out of reactionary cycles:
Identify the area or the person(s) with whom I get caught in a reactionary cycle.
When not in the heat of the situation, think about it and ask myself what I really want to happen. This becomes the key to breaking the cycle.
Once I know what I want, I can think about what I can do differently next time.
Instead of reacting next time, I can act in a way consistent with what I really want.
This enables me to step out of the whirlwind and avoid having everything I want go down the drain.
We all get caught in reactionary cycles sometimes. It may be in certain situations, or it may be with certain individuals. Much of the division in our world and in our families is fed by reactionary cycles that we play out together.
As we came to the end of class, one of the women approached me and said, “We can practice this and teach other women. We can change the environment in here. Reactionary cycles are the real prison.”
I’m still reflecting on her words.