For many years, we have been offering programs on Elder Wisdom. Older people with wisdom and a commitment to the future are one of the most valuable resources for our world. Wisdom does not automatically accompany age. It must be chosen and cultivated.
Wise elders have the ability to make good decisions, taking into consideration the common good and long-term effects. Their actions take the needs of others into account. Their thinking is selfless and focused on helping others. They’re great listeners who are open to different perspectives, constantly learning, committed to care of the planet, to healthy communities, to future generations, and they are willing to offer guidance where appropriate. They’re generous with their time and talents. Over the years, they have developed skills for transcending conflicts.
None of us has perfectly developed all these qualities. What matters is that we want to grow in wisdom and do the inner work involved. If we are still holding onto a hurt from the past, choosing now to forgive and attend to the wound, frees us from pain we have been carrying around, and releases healing energy in our world that is so conflicted and angry. We become a more healing presence.
Aging involves a lot of grieving and letting go. We lose precious relationships, physical abilities, and roles we have previously filled. Healthy grieving is a gift we give to ourselves that can also help others face losses in their life. Grieving opens our hearts to gratitude, the beauty of life, and the special qualities of each person we meet.
Paying attention, noticing the gift or surprise or challenge in the moment, frees us from self-absorption. Yesterday, after I cleaned the birdbath and filled it with fresh water, a beautiful spotted towhee bathed itself, expanded its wings, and played in the water before flying away. I was spellbound just watching him. And my heart lifted as I watched him take flight. I couldn’t help but smile at the privilege of the moment.
Being available and nurturing relationships fosters our growth and calls forth the wisdom within. Most of my time with my grandchildren is spent listening, appreciating their efforts, and affirming their gifts. Late last summer, however, before one of my grandsons left for college, I invited him for an ice cream date. I gave him a copy of Timothy Snyder’s book “On Tyranny.” We talked about our adult responsibility to be citizens and to care for the rights of everyone. I was able to tell him about his great-great-grandmother, who was involved with the women’s suffrage movement. I shared my experience of the civil rights movement, the women’s movement, and the peace movement.
I wanted him to know that this wasn’t just stuff buried in history books, but that he was a beneficiary of a heritage that was hard won. I wanted him to know that there were real people who suffered, went to jail, and died standing up to injustice and fighting for basic human rights. I wanted him to know how important it was to pay attention, be involved, and care about the dignity of every person. I also listened to his experience of the world he is growing up in, what he feels and is thinking about. What an opportunity to share on a deeper level.
We live in a time of chaos, uncertainty, environmental responsibility that we are ignoring, challenging divisions, and increasing violence. If we want to heal our world and ensure a better future for upcoming generations, we need wise elders. I am so impressed by the generosity and wisdom of older people who are stepping up, sharing their gifts and their influence.
I’ll be offering another Elder Wisdom workshop later this summer and in early fall at local churches. Sage-ing International https://www.sage-ing.org/ offers ongoing workshops, classes, and newsletters for anyone 55+ interested in the eldering journey. I can also recommend “On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity & Getting Old” by Parker Palmer. There is an international group, THE ELDERS, founded by Nelson Mandela, Jimmy Carter, Desmond Tutu, and Kofi Annan. The organization today is composed of independent global leaders working for peace, justice, human rights, and a sustainable planet. You can sign up to receive their press releases media@theElders.org.
I hope you might find time this week to reflect with the following quote from Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, founder of Sage-ing International:
Elderhood is a time of unparalleled inner growth
having evolutionary significance in this era of
worldwide cultural transformation.
It is a call from the future,
a journey for the health and survival
of our ailing planet Earth.